I’ve been quiet lately. Been keeping my nose to the grindstone being the primary reason, but the other reason is that I’m still, 2+ months later, trying to figure out what the Twins are up to. I guess 2 months is really a drop in the bucket in the scheme of things, but I’ve never been expressly informed that a God wants me to do X,Y, or Z, and I’m sorta impatient, lol.
My relationship with Them is weird; if They’re figures that have ever had cultus to begin with, then They certainly don’t now. I have exactly one myth that might or might not even be about Them exactly, and images that might possibly be Them are extremely rare. Off-hand, I only know of two. Needless to say, my 4 years of worship of Them has been predominantly trial and error – mostly error. They’re either picky or unconcerned with typical offerings (it’s hard to tell which, beyond the feeling of “nah” every time I try), They’ve given no indication that They want me to keep a schedule of prayer or ritual for Them, and I’m even iffy that they even care for interacting with me through icons. Aka, They might not even want a shrine.
A few things that I have come to understand about Them, though, are these:
- They are all about the physical act of doing this or that thing, of being in this or that place to do it. So far, all They’ve wanted from me is that I let Them pull strings, and that I work. Physical, tactile work. The more bodily movement and sensation involved, the better.
- They have no qualms about sticking Their hands into my affairs in very concrete ways. They have a very identifiable “voice”, too; if it’s Them, I can usually tell.
- They are in the habit of turning my life inside out and outside in. Whether They do this simply for pleasure, for a greater purpose, or both, I don’t know.
What happened is that the Twins said they wanted to take the reigns for a year – and I conceded. Well, after consulting the Old Man first.
The Old Man (He is not Odin) doesn’t seem to particularly enjoy the Twins. He doesn’t trust Them, and I was specifically warned about any promises They’d make me regarding money and jobs – namely, that what work I do for Them this year will not contribute to a good, sustainable income.
So if it’s not a different sort of paying creative work They’re gearing me up for, then the question of why They asked for the year is something I’ve been thinking on. Then again, Their idea of a decent job may be different from the Old Man’s. I don’t know.
I am finding myself doing a lot of self-work, though. Staying at home all day and drawing, alone, is a form of incubation, especially when I’ve exhausted my music and end up going about my day in silence. I’m re-evaluating my priorities in life, what paid work I am and am not willing to do, and am finding myself less and less fond of digital art-making and plan on phasing it out over the coming years. (Who knows, maybe that was Their goal. It’s hard to say.)
That’s about all there is to it, really. Work and thinking about work. It feels good to know that the Old Man is actually looking out for me, though, especially when I’m trying to deal with a couple of ecstatic, chaotic, and sometimes emotionally immature monkey Gods with no references to draw on.
In other news, I’ve bought my Many Gods West admission! I’m so stoked to be going. Can’t wait to meet some of you in person. (Is anyone staying at the bed and breakfast instead of the hotel? Like hell could I afford the Red Lion.)