I’ve had… an interesting few days.
And by “interesting” I mean, “??????????????”
A month or so ago I started gravitating toward Huitzilopochtli, thinking that I could incorporate Him into what’s still a pretty barebones ancestor-venerating practice, as He’s the patron of the Mexica. So I divined on it, and would up getting catastrophic results. Something prompted me to check in with the Old Man, so I drew cards for Him too, and got a freakishly similar reading.
For both draws, the “me” card was the star, and the “outcome” card was the ten of swords.
There was a lot more going on in those readings – a suspicious number of the cards came up during both readings, like the tower or the ace of cups. A lot of strange, garbled references to my old job. While these drawings were meant to be answered by these specific Gods, I got the feeling that it was a single entity that had hijacked my spreads. And based on the tone of the readings, and the job references, I knew it might be the Twins.
So I slept on it.
This isn’t the first time that They’ve done something completely fucking nuts like this – if They intervene in my life, it’s always been in a big, showy, very concrete way – and then I remembered Their myths. One of the only surviving pieces of lore we have about Them are as jealous antagonists to a younger pair of step-brother Gods, who transform Them into monkeys for being assholes. It occurred to me that maybe the Twins are jealous, and are trying to get me to… what, stop all my other devotional practices to focus on Them?
I consult the cards again.
“What are You wanting me to do, here?”
“Are You wanting me to walk away from my other Gods and only worship You?”
Two of wands.
Anyways, I’m not really sure what to do at this point. It just feels so wrong to end a devotional relationship, but maybe it’ll be doable if I’m sure to set a limit to how long this henotheism is going to last. The other thing is that I don’t fully trust Them either – not that I fully trust any God, but these I trust the least out of my little pantheon – even though, oddly enough, They’ve had the most marked impact on my life since rediscovering polytheism back in 2011.
And yet, I trust them enough to have Their images on my arms…
If last year was a winter, then this is year might wind up being a pretty violent spring. Because when it comes to getting things done or a point across, they go for the throat.
Still, I’ll need to make sure that this is really Them, that this is really what They’re asking, etc. etc. etc.
Speaking of clergy, where are they when you need ’em? 😛